At the time of writing this, I recently finished re-reading one of my favourite books, Dolly Alderton's Everything I Know About Love (and by recently, I do mean as in I finished re-reading it at 3am this morning lol). I'm happy to announce that although I wasn't the biggest fan of the TV adaptation, I do still love the book just as much as I did when I first read it 3+ years ago. This blog post was inspired by Dolly's lists throughout the book of everything she knew about love, at different ages in her life. While I was reading the book, I had a number of lessons that I've learnt over my life floating around in my mind and the words were begging to be written down, for the first time in months, so I thought I would do just that and put hands to keyboards. These will be in no particular order at all, and some of them will be more serious than others. I hope that you enjoy it!
1. Pre-ordering the books of your favourite authors is incredibly important. It's not something that I've religiously done, especially as I currently use an audiobook platform that I'm not proud of using, as I prefer audiobooks to physical books, however I've noticed that when I pre-order, I prefer to order a physical book. I've managed to whittle down my wishlist on that particular app, (meaning that I can stop using it sooner), by pre-ordering physical copies of all of the books which haven't been released yet. Aside from how important it is for the author, (it helps to generate buzz for the book and potentially put them on the bestseller list which can lead to more copies of the book being made), it's also an incredibly lovely thing to wake up to an email which states that a book you paid for a year ago is ready to be collected/delivered. It's like a gift from past Esha, and I absolutely love it. I've been converted and I will be pre-ordering books forever, now.
2. Lowering your daily/average screen time is a worthy goal, but there are exceptions - I consider YouTube videos and podcasts that I learnt something from to be incredibly valuable to my day to day life, so those fall outside of my screen time goal. If I spend all day scrolling on TikTok, my mental health will inevitably crash, but spending a few hours watching fun and educational content on Youtube doesn't harm me in the same way at all.
3. Something that I am incredibly grateful for is the number of people in my life that I've met in a professional fashion, that I now consider my actual friends. If you're like me and you're a very chatty person while getting your hair done, or being tattooed, it's really easy to feel close to professionals in the moment, but feeling like you have a lifelong friend in them is quite different, and it's really lovely. I care about my main tattooists as if I've known them forever, my childhood hairdresser did my hair for my wedding ceremony, was then invited to my wedding reception as a guest, and I recently volunteered to hair model for the hair and make up company that I chose for both of my wedding events, because I've become friends with the owner and genuinely feel a connection with her (and all of her artists that I've met too!) Treat professional people as potential friends, and that's just what they might become.
4. Life is better when you always have something to look forward to, whether that's a Harry Styles concert, seeing Sarah Millican in two years' time, a mini UK break in a few months, it doesn't really matter what it is and it doesn't have to be something you spend a lot of money on. It really makes the mundane moments of life better when you know that there's something you've been dreaming about, on the horizon.
5. My money will come back, but I will never be 27 standing in Harry Styles' first sold out Wembley Stadium show, listening to him sing his debut solo song, while it's raining and fireworks are going off above my head, ever again.
6. I didn't have the world's greatest childhood, but I would like to think that my inner child is happy now, I burst into song like Jess Day in the middle of sentences, play Animal Crossing on our new Switch until all hours if that's what I want to do, skip and play and throw my head back laughing whenever I feel like it - it's worth doing and it doesn't make me childish, just because I'm childlike. Find a partner who holds and heals your inner child. I am very grateful for mine.
7. Get the tattoos you've always wanted. I currently have 13, and I have plans to get 7 more, and that number goes up all the time. It's my money, they make me happy, I think I look hot with them, and I love them. Get the tattoo.
8. If you're someone that wants to choose their own engagement ring like I did, do it. It doesn't make it any less exciting, or less of a surprise. I personally think the idea that both partners want to get married shouldn't be a surprise anyway - but I have a very particular jewellery collection, and Stephen wears no other jewellery except for his engagement turned wedding ring and never has, so it made complete sense for us to choose our own rings. It didn't take away from anything, and I stare at my wedding set all the time because the engagement ring goes so perfectly with my wedding ring. You should have a ring you love since you'll be wearing it forever.
9. It's important to learn how to accept compliments, and how to give them. Compliment people every chance you get.
10. Your faith will change and grow into different shapes throughout your life, I've been a Muslim, a Christian, an 'I believe in something', and everything in between. Nobody has it all worked out all the time and that's okay.
11. I've been a pescatarian for ten months, and it's so much fun. I was a vegetarian when I was very young, and it was difficult for me and I developed health issues, as there weren't that many options that were enjoyable to eat, but that has all changed now. I genuinely feel happier too, and I don't know the science behind it or anything and I'm not about to preach at anyone ever, but personally, I am happier with my diet now and that's important to me.
12. Being overdressed is a myth, find friends who will overdress with you. Glitter and gems are fun, don't deprive yourself of them.
13. You won't be able to do every new progressive thing there is at the drop of a hat. You can recognise that fast fashion is bad for the planet, but that you need to continue using it for the time being, either due to finances, or if you're like me, you're a different size in every single clothing store, depending on what day it is, and that's a very expensive way to live if you solely shop sustainable fashion or on Depop where not every seller accepts returns. Things are not black and white. I took my husband's name and I'm still a feminist. I'm a Christian and I'm aggressively pro-abortion. Two things can be true at the same time.
14. Getting older is a privilege, (I still can't spell this word without spell check), that not everyone is granted. Go all out for birthdays, your own and that of your loved ones.
15. You will never watch everything on Netflix that you want to, and you're not supposed to.
16. Marriage meetings are amazing. Stephen and I have been doing them every other Wednesday for seven months now, and it's lovely to sit for an hour a fortnight and tell each other everything we've appreciated about each other in the past fortnight, plan our schedules and our budget for the upcoming fortnight, and talk through anything we're worried about. There's a myth that people who do relationship check ins do them because they're struggling and in a deteriorating place in their relationship, but that's not true at all. We're the happiest we've ever been, and we still love them. They're not just about talking through problems, (although I'm sure they are good for that), but they are an effective way of prioritising each other and your/their feelings.
17. Nobody will be quite as excited about your wedding as you are, but that doesn't mean that they don't love you.
18. Using one or two disposable cameras every few months, and filling up scrapbooks with real life, printed photos, is a lovely thing to do. (Get the ones with the self-adhesive pages, they're way easier)
19. Court shoes are comfier than block heels. Yeah, I was shocked too. (NB: I can be trusted on this as I wore one of each on my wedding days, so I know what it is to walk around in them for hours on end)
20. Wear SPF even when you're indoors. Use heat protection spray on your hair.
21. Conical curling wands are the only thing that I can curl my hair with - they've always looked harder to use than tongs (the ones with the clamp) in my opinion, so I didn't buy them, but wow. I use the BaByliss Berry Crush conical wand, and it does a stunning job.
22. Reading is, and always has been, my favourite hobby. It is so worth it to find what you like and read as much as you can.
23. Emily Henry is a hero in the Young Adult Romance world of books at the moment, and deservedly so. Believe the hype.
24. Listening to music can change everything.
25. If there's something you want to buy, but it's expensive or you're saving for it, put it on a wishlist and don't think about it. If it still feels like a priority after a month, you should get it.
26. I live by the 'food is food' rule and it has changed my life. When I don't feel like I have the ability to cook something particularly healthy or complex, I make super noodles and throw a piece of oven cooked salmon in it because it's so easy. It doesn't matter, just eat something. Food is food.
27. If there's something that you want to buy but you're embarrassed about it for whatever reason, buy a birthday card with it.
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