My Mantra for the Year (honestly even if you never click these links, click this one. This is my new mantra for the rest of my life)
As always, these are in no particular order but here we go!
1. I will no longer be expending all of my own energy explaining to somebody how they've hurt me, as it’s not fair to do that when I’m then met with the limited amount of energy that they spend on their non-existent apology. We're not going to coach people into how to treat us well in 2022 - we've done enough of that. If they can't see the errors of their ways after we've clearly explained the problem, and they still refuse to acknowledge the concerns let alone apologise? That's fine, they just won't be in my life anymore. Don't be afraid to leave people in 2021 - go with grace - but go nonetheless. You are allowed to change the price of what it costs to access you, at any time.
2. On a very similar note to the above, I will no longer be letting things 'slide', or biting my tongue just so that people still like me. Remaining silent looks very similar to support when someone is doing something harmful, and they're not called out. I would rather speak up and be the outcast than keep my mouth shut, continue to be disrespected and gain absolutely nothing from it other than the feeling that I am still liked. You deserve to feel like your authentic self is welcome. The right people will love your authentic self. You don't have to hide your real feelings to remain liked. Be incredibly intentional with your life - your friends, the media you consume, how you spend your time - and I promise you that your life will improve massively.
3. During my final appraisal of last year, one of my managers praised how 'bubbly and lively' I am, and how my personality helps to uplift the general morale of the team on a day to day basis, and that he knows something must be really wrong if it's gotten me down since I'm always so positive, and I don't know why but I really needed to hear that on the day that I did. I usually am a really joyful person, but a particular situation had me feeling bitter and resentful towards the end of the year, and that's not me. I will not let anyone take my innate happiness away from me in 2022. Protect your peace at all costs.
4. I am going to continue working on reframing the way that I speak about myself, particularly when it comes to mental health conditions. I will no longer say 'I am an anxious person', I am a person who happens to have anxiety. It does not own me. It is not all of me. My anxiety has been a part of me for my whole life, but I am more than it, so I shouldn't use it as if it is a defining, descriptive part of my personality when it's not. Take back your power, and don't limit yourself to your conditions.
Those four were kind of heavy, so I'm going to finish on three more light-hearted ones!
5. I've recently been falling in love with Mary Skinner's content on TikTok, and she recently spoke about how she feels like her make up doesn't look 'make-uppy' enough like some of the other content creators. I have never agreed with anything more, especially as I've realised that I've had pretty much the same beauty routine for quite a few years, and I think it's time to change it up! She said, 'I know they're not hotter than me, they're just better at make-up'. First of all, I needed to hear that and maybe you did too - and secondly, here are some of the tips I've picked up from her while she's on her new make-up journey, that I've added into my make up routine and I've really enjoyed.
I'm not someone who is very good at make-up, so please don't roll your eyes too hard if you already know all of this and more. It's all learning.
I've always tended to blend my tinted moisturiser in with my fingertips, but at her recommendation, I've switched to a blending sponge and the application is definitely much smoother now, and I like that. I've also been applying my blush higher up my cheekbones towards my temples, instead of just on the apples of my cheeks - plus I've been putting a little blush on my nose - and that's super cute too! Mary uses one of the products I already own and love, but I noticed that she uses a lot more of it than I do. It's the Charlotte Tilbury Flawless Filter, and I've just been using it on my cheekbones under my tinted moisturiser for a 'lit from within' glow underneath my make up, but she uses it all over her face underneath her make up. I've now adopted this and it's so pretty - you still get the same 'glowing from within' look, but everywhere, and it's stunning. I've also been using a little bit of my powder highlighter as an inner (eye) corner highlight which is very sparkly and very much my vibe.
I haven't yet tried this tip because the make-up item I have my eye on for it is sold out absolutely everywhere, (if you ever see the Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Contour Wand in stock while you're randomly scrolling a site, please help a girl out), but I like the look of it - it basically involves contouring with a cream contour, and then topping with a powder bronzer for a chiselled, sun-kissed look. I also want to try out contouring the bridge of my nose near my inner eyes. That looks so gorgeous. Let me know if you have any other simple make up tips I can adopt for the new year!
6. Friends, I think I've finished doing weird things to my hair. I've been experimenting, (as much as someone with naturally dark hair can!), from around the age of 17, and I think I am ready to go back to my natural black hair, and leave it alone to grow healthily and pretty and shiny. Let this be a warning - whatever hair colour you have in your wedding photos will end up being how you see yourself as your most beautiful self - at least, that's what happened to me. I've never liked myself much with my black hair because I didn't really think it suited me, but after our wedding last year, and the incredible photos that came out of it, it has definitely been growing on me. I think I'm ready to stop reaching for the caramel/red/blonde hair dye. I think.
7. Finally, another one to do with vanity, and I'm not sure how many of you will even know that I used to do this anyway, but I will no longer be taking my glasses off seconds before a photo is taken of me because I think I look better without them - I literally chose the cute frames that I still wear now, even though I have a new prescription, back in 2019 when we got engaged, because I intended to wear them on our wedding day because they were so dainty and pretty. If I knew I would look good in them in my actual once-in-a-lifetime wedding photos, I can keep them on in my selfies at social events, and still feel absolutely gorgeous in them. Surely.
happy new year, all ♡
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