At the beginning of last year, I wrote this post which outlined the goals I wanted to achieve over the year. I used the WOOP' (Wish/Outcome/Obstacle/Plan) method, developed by Gabrielle Oettingen in order to help me make achievable goals, as I had just learnt about it from the Yale course that I did at the end of 2020, so definitely read the full blog post if you want to learn more on that!
1. Acts of Kindness - During the course that I mentioned above, I chose 'daily act of kindness' as my final assignment, which meant that I needed to do an act of kindness every day for 28 days, which I did - and what I was hoping for was that by the end of the 28 days, it would become something I automatically did every day without having to think about or track. I then made it my goal that I would do an act of kindness every day for a year. I did end up achieving this one which I'm really proud of, and I do genuinely think that it made me a happier person. The science suggests that this is because being kind to others activates the area of the brain called the striatum, which is also activated by us eating delicious foods that we love, but regardless of whether that's true or not, I can now honestly say that it is an innate part of my every day now - even if the act of kindness is something small like leaving out a glass of water for Stephen before I go to bed, so it's one less thing for him to sort out for himself when he comes home from work at 7am. I think for this year, I want to continue being kind and soft and sweet, while also remembering to be all of the above towards myself too - there were quite a few days over the year where the daily act of kindness was towards myself but they were more seldom, so that's something I want to focus on this year, even if it's something little like doing a favour for my future self if I know I've got a busy day coming up and won't be able to complete a task on a day I usually would, or making more time for my own self care whether that's in the practical sense or pamper evening sense. If you read last week's post, then you already know I'm learning the art of leaving the lives of people who are harmful to my mental health, but in a way that is graceful and kind, so I'm already on my way with this goal.
2. Spend Less Time on my Phone - At the start of last year, I had just completed by first Digital Detox Day (read about my experience through this link) during September of the previous year, and I loved it so much that I wanted to incorporate more of it into the entirety of last year. I also did DDD again last year, (the thumbnail of this blog post if how you announce that you're doing it). This goal was important to me as I felt like it would make me more present, and make those around me feel like they have more of my attention, more of the time. This was a goal which I openly knew that I was going to struggle with, especially after 2020 made everything virtual, and honestly, 2021 wasn't much better for me in terms of getting away from screens, in that I also started working from home in April, where my phone is always near me.
However, I did continue to use a daily one hour timer on my three main social media apps which are Instagram, Twitter and TikTok - and I did stop using the app/s instead of increasing the timers, majority of the time, once I had used my hour for the day. I also still have my push notifications off for social media apps, and while it might mean I reply to a DM a little late sometimes, I still love it because it means that I consume the content when I want to and I'm in control of my phone instead of it being in control of me. Something that I just did this weekend during my annual phone reset, (this is where I clear out my unused apps/screenshots I don't need any more to clear storage space), is put the screen time widget on my home page, so that I can visibly see it when I unlock my phone. I think this will encourage me to put my phone down more often/pick it up less, since if I can see I've already used a huge chunk of my daily five hours, I won't want to waste any of it doom scrolling.
Something else that I wanted to do last year which I did achieve was closing social media if I experienced negative feelings/thoughts of comparison while scrolling. I also developed the skill of becoming much more brutal when it came to unfollowing/muting people if their content didn't align with my values anymore, or made me angry, (this was mainly people sharing incorrect antivax nonsense last year, but it could apply to anything like if they make you feel uncomfortable in terms of their politics, of if they talk down on your body type). We spend so much time on our phones so we need to get into the habit of curating our online spaces so that we only see things that actually make us happy.
3. Continue to Support Small Businesses - Finally, I wanted to continue to support small businesses so that I could stop lining the pockets of Jeff Bezos, and make some real life people happy instead. I am so thrilled that I managed to achieve this one, and if this is something that you have on your goal list for this year, I did create a list of some of my favourite small businesses at the end of 2020 which might be able to help here - Shop Small but Fierce Guide. I also wrote another gift guide last year and every single one of the stores mentioned are small/smallish businesses, so you can definitely tell my list of favourites has only grown since, and I essentially turn to Etsy for absolutely everything I ever need now - gifts for friends, greeting cards, decor for our wedding, accessories for my bridal look, everything. As an aside to this, if you'd like to support my small business this year, the link is here!
I'm so proud that I was able to achieve all three of the goals that I set for myself last year - I think it's a mix of the fact that the WOOP method does work for me, so definitely read the first linked blog post if you'd like to learn more about it, but it's also that I only had three of them. I think sometimes we set far too many goals because a year is a long time, but as we all know by now, we just cannot predict what can change/happen in a year anymore at all.
All three of the goals were also incredibly important to me, and I knew in my mind why I wanted to do them, and how I was going to do them, (which is essentially what the WOOP method is about), so I do think having a good understanding on how the goals will improve your life if you achieve them is a great thing to consider. Work out what's important to you first, and then choose a goal which helps you make a change towards it.
Also as a final note, if you didn't achieve any of the goals that you set for last year, that's absolutely okay - it was an incredibly strange year even if it was better than 2020, it still wasn't a 'normal' year, so don't be too hard on yourself, and please also be kind to yourself this year when making your 2022 goals, if you're making any. You don't have to set goals if you don't want to, and you don't have to set the same goals that everyone else is - once you're clear on what you actually do and don't want out of life, it becomes a lot easier to create goals that you're more likely to meet. xo
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