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I recently watched one of Lily Singh's Youtube videos which really inspired me. In it, she said that we should wake up every morning and ask ourselves 'what kind of life do I want to live?', and to then live that way when we know the answer. I've realised that I need to do more of what makes me happy this year, so when I woke up on Tuesday morning thinking that 'making a cookies and cream cake would make me happy today', that's exactly what I did, and it worked. I even went on to do a little photoshoot with the cake, because that's the kind of life I want to live. Spontaneous, fun, and delicious.
During my Science of Wellbeing course, I learnt that there is such a thing as 'miswanting', which is where we think that certain things - a nice house, or a higher salary, will make us happy, but when we get them, we realise that we just want the next best thing, and the cycle continues. It's a sad truth that what we think will make us truly happy doesn't - at least not when it's a material thing.
Hedonic adaptation is the idea that we get used to things and then they no longer make us happy anymore. I know that this is true in my own life because you'll see me look after a new phone like it's a newborn baby - placing it on surfaces gently, and being very careful with it. I've had my phone for 1 year now, and although I still love it, and I don't want a new one - I can promise you that I no longer get the same sense of joy from it as I did when I first opened it fresh out of the box.
I've learnt that one of the best ways to thwart hedonic adaptation is to purchase experiences, instead of material things. A lovely dinner, or a trip to Miami doesn't stick around long enough for us to get used to it - and therefore it can't disappoint us. Making my happiness last longer is my mantra for this year, and I'm truly excited about it.
Making this cake was an experience because I did it entirely from scratch - using this recipe - and then Stephen and I did the photoshoot afterwards, which made it all the more fun, and made the happiness of the evening stretch out for longer. The cake also only stuck around for 3 days, as we shared some of it with our neighbours, and devoured the rest of it ourselves in a short period of time. Hedonic adaptation thwarted.
I wanted to put this at the end of my post because I know that for some of us, we might have resolutions which equate our worth to our weight, and so, I'm here to tell you that there are so many things you can start in 2021 that don't involve feeling the societal pressure to diet. Start/grow a small business, do an act of kindness every day, start a gratitude diary, make a cake, honestly whatever the heck you want. Do what makes you happy, because you deserve it. Whatever that is for you, try to make it an experience, so that you can also thwart your hedonic adaptation, like I'm learning to do.
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