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Last month, I started doing a Yale course on The Science of Wellbeing and I've learnt so much from it which I'll probably go into on another blog post, but for this one, I just wanted to explain the 'WOOP' method, developed by Gabrielle Oettingen, as it helped me develop my alternative to resolutions this year.
From the course, I learnt that making your goals, (or Wishes), incredibly specific, and thinking about how you're going to achieve them, is what leads to the most success. Our goals have to be important to us in order for us to want to work towards them, so this implies that they must serve our lives positively in some way, and we have to think about why that is when we make goals - we have to be able to see the positive Outcome that achieving that goal would have on our lives. The part which both shocked, and interested me was learning that we also have to think about the Obstacles in order to overcome them. Researchers call this 'mental contrasting', as it allows us to visualise the hard parts of this goal, too. We can't just think about how great we'll feel when we've achieved it because when we have bad days and it isn't going well, we'll feel like we've failed, and give up. We also can't just visualise the negative parts because then we'll talk ourselves out of the goal, and again, give up. We have to do both parts. How great is it going to feel when this is achieved, but also what is going to make this goal difficult for me to attain? Once you've worked that out, it's time to Plan. Plan how you're going to achieve the goal, by planning how often you're going to be working towards it, and how you're going to get past the obstacles which stand in your way when they appear, for example.
It's a really useful tool, not just for when making resolutions. It can also help us when making decisions, or if we're too stressed to think straight, it can help us to
I've also learnt from the course that telling other people about what we're aiming to do, and having some way to track how we're doing with our goals, can also really help. I've been tracking by writing down my progress every day, and I guess this blog post is my way of telling you all that I'm doing this, so I can now be held accountable for it, which is another way to ensure success.
With all of that said, here are my 3 WOOP'd habits which I want to build into my 2021.
1. Acts of Kindness - this one will need some explaining as it might seem like an odd resolution. During the course, I was given weekly 'rewirements', which are kind of like pieces of homework, which participants did every day for a week, and then at the end of the course, we take our happiness score again (we took it at the beginning of the course as a baseline - I'm really excited to see if mine changes!), and see if the rewirements helped it to increase. One of them was to do an act of kindness for somebody else every day for 7 days, and I loved it, so I've chosen it as my 4 week rewirement challenge, which means I'll do it every day for 28 days, and then write my peer review on how it went before checking if my happiness score has changed, at the end of the course. I'm hoping that at the end of the 28 days, it will be a habit I won't have to think about/track, and just automatically do.
WOOP: Wish: To do one act of kindness every day, Outcome: This will make me feel happier, as research shows that being kind to others activates the area of the brain called the striatum, which is also activated by us eating delicious foods that we love. Obstacle: Sometimes this will be hard, especially when I am no longer unemployed, and my days become busier. Plan: If this happens, then I will, (If/Then plan developed by Peter Gollwitzer), experiment with being kind in ways I haven't yet. The only person I am physically seeing at the moment is Stephen, but depending on what this life throws at me job wise, there will be more ways, and more people to be kind to. Maybe I'll let someone cut in front of me at the store, or pay it forward to someone behind me in Costa. I'll see it as an opportunity, instead of a challenge.
2. Spend Less Time on my Phone - I learnt the benefits of this when I did the Digital Detox Day last year, and I loved it and want to incorporate more of it into this year.
WOOP: Wish: To spend less time on my phone. Outcome: I will be more present, and those around me will feel like they have more of my attention, more of the time. Obstacle: I genuinely enjoy seeing what my friends are doing via their Instagrams/Tweets, and I'm pretty sure I do have a slight addiction to my phone, and everything being virtual in 2020 hasn't helped this. Plan: If this happens, I will text or call my friends, instead of relying on their social media presence to inform me on their lives. I will use the audible 'STOP' when I find myself experiencing negative feelings/thoughts of comparison on social media, (something else I learnt on the course), to help me to take a break from it again, during the times where I do use it.
3. Continue to Support Small Businesses - I listed a few of my favourite small businesses in this post, including that of my friends in my Shop Small but Fierce Guide so do feel free to check these out, if this is one of your goals, too. If you'd like to support my small business this year, the link is here!
WOOP: Wish: Continue to support small businesses. Outcome: I will feel like my money is going to someone who truly cares about their product and is brought great joy from my purchase. Obstacle: Sometimes small businesses won't have the exact product that I want. Plan: If this happens, I will use Amazon merely as a directory, so when I find the product I do want, I will search up the name of the company/seller, and buy it directly from them, so that I am, at least, not lining the pockets of Jeff Bezos.
I really enjoyed sharing some of my newfound knowledge in this post, so let me know if you want similar posts like this :)
If you are someone who sets New Year's Resolutions/Habits/Goals, please remember to be kind to yourself as you create them. If 2020 taught us nothing else, it's that we simply cannot predict what a year will be like.
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