Happy Monday, friends! I really didn't think I had anything for a blog post in me this week, and then I just sat down and started thinking about some life lessons I've learnt/have been knocking around in my head lately, so here's 11 of those for you. Bear with me as it will just be me typing out my thoughts for a little while, but let me know if you learn anything or resonate with any of it!
In no particular order, here we go:
1. Don’t be alarmed if your bank balance is slightly less fruitful as it was this time last year. We were living very different lives during the Summer of 2020. I went into London with one of my best friends for the first time in over a year on Saturday, and I’m pretty sure that I spent close to £100 on food, drinks, desserts and general soul-saving fun – and I’m more than okay with it. If you know me personally, then you know that I’m a saver and have always been one – but we have to let ourselves spend a little more at the moment. We’ve waited close to 18 months to live a little. My soul is so much happier, so I definitely recommend it. Allow yourself to go out on cute outings, or treat yourself to a new Summer wardrobe to get you through the heatwave that we’re suddenly in.
2. Related to my first point – if you’re ever near a branch of Pizza Pilgrims, go in. Eat there, or order a click and collect meal via their website. It’s absolutely delicious and it tastes all the more incredible if you take it to a park and eat it there, in the hot Summer sun. The same goes for dessert from Crumbs and Doilies. Can you tell I really missed London?
3. I’ve learnt that I don’t like the ‘Good Vibes Only’ narrative. I think that it suggests that if someone came to me with something that was upsetting them, that I would tell them to go away because I only want to talk about ‘good’ vibes – which isn’t the case. I’ve realised that we have to experience the whole spectrum of ‘vibes’, so that we can appreciate the good ones even more when they come around. On the whole, I want to be happy and positive as I usually am but when I do have sad days, I’m going to let myself feel that because I’m a human being. All vibes welcome.
4. I’ve decided I need to absolve myself of any responsibility for the image that someone else holds of me in their head. That’s not my business. I recently fell out with someone, and they were incredibly shocked when I retaliated to their unkind words – likely because the image that they had in their head of me was such a sweet, kind person that you can just step on, and I would let them. That’s not the case. I try to respond with grace to all people, in all situations, but that doesn’t mean that my kindness can be expected when I’ve been insulted and stepped on – that’s not a fair expectation, and it’s not my fault that someone else thought that they could get away with that, without any reaction from me. I pride myself on my kindness but I'm allowed to have boundaries, just like everyone else.
5. As well as that, I’ve learnt that you can’t expect yourself from other people. You might go above and beyond for them, and then it’s confusing when they don’t do the same for you, because you know that you would for them – but not everyone is you. A hard truth, I know.
6. My husband and I have finally admitted to ourselves that we need to put off our move back into London for a year or two longer, and so our temporary tiny basement flat now needs to feel a bit more homey, so that we like it more, since we’ll be here a bit longer than we expected. I’ve learnt that a few simple changes like some tea/coffee/sugar containers instead of having the PG tips box etc, out on the kitchen table can really elevate the aesthetic of a home. We’ve also gone for a cute laundry basket, some new champagne glasses, some rose gold frying pans and appliances, and other tiny little additions like that which don’t cost a lot, but add a lot into the day-to-day look of the flat, so that’s my advice on this one.
7. I’ve recently gotten way better at not comparing myself to other people, and I know that it’s something that a lot of people struggle with, so this may be useful for you to read, too. We’re all on different life paths, and things happen for us when they’re supposed to. Don’t rush your life to compete with someone else. Everything will come to you at the correct time.
8. Surround yourself with the energy that you want in your life. The people that we keep around us influences a lot in our life – I’m surrounded by a group of such incredible woodland fairies, and my life is a very positive and happy place because of my friendships with them. You owe it to yourself to remove yourself from people who steal that opportunity from you. Protect your peace and get out, if you need to.
9. Trust me on this one – if you’re someone with long, (particularly long, dark hair, like I used to have), CUT IT. It’s Summer, it’s incredibly hot, and it’s so much fun to switch up your look. I went from my long, princess wedding hair to a shoulder length cut last weekend, and I feel so much better in this warm weather. I also think I look really cute with it!
10. The last two come with a trigger warning/TW for eating disorders and weight gain, so the blog post ends here for you if reading this would be harmful to you! I recently discovered that I only thought I was so slick about the eating disorder I had when I was a teenager, but it turns out that my Mum knew all about it, but neither one of us wanted to say the words out loud because that would make it too real. If you’re reading this and you think something is wrong, but you would rather hide it because life is easier that way – it’s not. Talk about it. Make it real. Get the help that you need. I have thankfully now recovered, but it took ten years.
11. Finally, I don’t have the same body that I did when I was 18 – and that’s okay – because I’m not supposed to. For starters, that was an entirely different time of my life and of my physical development, but I also have been through a year of a pandemic, and the body does hold trauma more than we think it does. I recently found a TikTok which spoke about reframing the ‘I’m so bloated’ thing we say after we’ve eaten into more of a ‘look at how well I nourished my body today’ mindset, and I have to tell you that it has really massively helped me. Something to consider if you’re also working through body dysmorphic thoughts.
Have a lovely week! xo
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